The first question/comment : Why share personal information so publicly?
Maybe a lot of people would never want to do that. Maybe that thought/question lingers in a lot of our friends' minds.
I honestly wouldn't be blogging if I felt I had nothing but myself to talk about. I've tried that and it is only entertaining when I'm living overseas. My U.S. "normal" life doesn't provide enough fodder.
First, I suppose I'm blogging for the same reason some people write books. I want to leave something in this world. I'd like to add something-to both the adoption story and orphan care story. All you can do is put your life and work out into the world and hope not to be judged too harshly. Hope that the reward of dialogue and community outweighs any risks that come.
I could be proven completely wrong but I am the eternal optimist and believe there is value in this public process. I know I have learned a lot and been greatly inspired by reading other blogs.
Second, bringing home an adopted child is very different from carrying and delivering a biological child. I know the process has been compared in many ways and emotionally are probably similar. But the facts are different. VERY different. And before we know who 'little 3' is and before we bring him/her home, I think we have this amazing period of time to better understand how this child will be different from a biological newborn.
For example issues like attachment and bonding, parenting a child of a different race, and medical issues we might expect are all things better shared before we arrive home and just expect our friends and family to "get it."
I have the opportunity to share resources, information, joys, questions and concerns here, while I wait, and in this way hopefully our child will be better supported and understood by our community of people when he/she makes an appearance in our life.
For now I leave with the image of our uber clean child-free living room. We'll have to enjoy our last few months of that cream colored rug...
And for everyone who asked about our trip to Santa Fe to find the perfect coffee table this is the 18th century window we restored and turned into furniture!
~ A
Same reason I blog...friends that are the same as me. That smile and scream for joy when we say we are adopting again. That get it when I'm consumed with the long WAIT. That love me when I'm crazy about race and still figuring out what I think and feel.
ReplyDeleteILY
As we end up moving further across the country, or world, from our friends and family, we have had to create other forums to connect with people. Communities are no longer the place where we physically live, we now have the possibility of finding friends worldwide and building virtual communities and support systems. Our culture has often been so private, so closed, leading us to suffer alone, but also to be overjoyed alone. I have often turned to other people's blogs in search of a common story and understanding when I'm facing a challenge in my own life, and in turn I have created blogs when I want to share something amazing with my friends, family, and anyone else who is interested! I think the world will be better off the more we can each open up to share ourselves with others, to find common bonds, and also to push people to question and solidify their own understandings and beliefs. I'm so happy to be able to experience this journey with you on this blog, breaking the barrier of the miles between us. I'm also so excited to learn through your experiences. And underneath it all, I'm grateful to share this new turn in your life with you as a friend, and you're a fabulous writer so it's a pleasure to be inspired by someone I care about!
ReplyDeleteYou've been pushing barriers to make this world a better place since I first met you when you pushed our humanitarian organization in new directions, focusing more on the human aspects. I'm proud that you're still taking risks to encourage the world to embrace new beliefs and understandings, and this time through your own personal experience. I think you'll find the risks of this public blog are far outweighed by the benefits of drawing friends and family closer and feeling their love and support in this new chapter of your life. Because we do love and support you, J, and yet-to-be-blessed #3 :)
Karina
Can I just add that I cannot wait for God to ROCK YOUR WORLD with the love of a child!!! All adoption issues aside, you will be parents and know a kind of love that is beyond all description!!!!!!!
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yeah, that carpet ain't gonna last.
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