Every tree limb overhead seems to sit and wait, while every step you take becomes a twist of fate.
Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road...

If you are new to our adoption blog please take a moment to scroll down to the archives at the bottom of this page and start with July 2009 post "Watershed."


When it rains it pours

So true.

We are having a very hard week.

First I got sick over the weekend. At first I thought it was allergies so I really didn't rest like I should have. Then by Sunday night I was feverish, coughing, sore throat miserable.

Second, J got a new job. Which should be a great thing since he hasn't been working much this summer. But to be honest I've gotten very used to having him at home. He's done at least half of Ariam's care and because of that I've been able to work in August and September.

Third, we are buying a house. We close on Monday. The paperwork, the inspection follow up, the money, the packing. It is just a giant overwhelming mess. We aren't moving in immediately after closing but I almost wish we were. Instead we are dragging it out to the end of the month so J can spend every evening working on the house - painting, fixing, etc. That means I will not have him during the day OR during the evenings.

Fourth, we thought we had a nanny-share lined up for Ariam. After a lot of consideration we decided not to hire an Ethiopan nanny for now (a. we have a small house and it's easier for me to concentrate if Ariam is out of the house and b. we were worried a bit about all that we'd have to work through to teach the nanny how we do things.) So we agreed to be the second family in a 2 family nanny share starting Monday. Today I went on a play date with the nanny and the other child and walked away without childcare.
1. The nanny didn't look Ariam in the eye or even touch her during the whole play date.
2. The nanny told me that the other child's favorite activity is "tv."
3. The nanny didn't speak enthusiastically to either child, engage them in any way, or help them play on any of the playground equipment.
4. When I asked the nanny how she planned to handle two active toddlers at the park alone she said "I don't know."

I walked away with a huge pit in my stomach. Had a small freak out at home. And ultimately called the other family and told them what happened and that we were backing out. Honestly? A nanny, no matter how she is with the kids, should be ON HER GAME in front of the parents. Isn't that rule #1??


We are on a waiting list for the most lovely daycare near the house. It has Chinese lanterns, and fresh coffee, and singing time, and fish, and organic snacks and video cameras in every room so we can watch Ariam. But it is impossible to say when we'll get off the wait list.

We've toured and said no to three other daycares. Now, following Nannygate 2010, we are visiting two more daycares tomorrow. Both have openings but both have at least one negative review online.

At this point Ariam is going insane in our house filled with boxes. I am going crazy trying to get even the smallest things done for work and am driving my coworkers crazy by not being responsive enough. Jeremy starts his job on Monday and is way over his head in packing, filling holes in our rental walls (from pictures, not from punching). I am still feeling under the weather. And we aren't sure if we are definitely closing on Monday or not.

All in one week. It's a lot to get a handle on. We need a third person in this marriage. Like a sex-less sister wife or something.



  1. Oh, Honey, I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time with this. I have a feeling that once you start feeling better it won't all seem so overwhelming. Wish I lived close by so that I could pick up some of the Ariam-care until you find that right person. You know that she's out there. It's just a matter of finding her. Take a deep breath, control the things that you can and I'm betting that one of the daycares close to home "will do" until that perfect situation comes along. Big hugs from me to you!

  2. Oh no, so sorry to read this! Your life sounds like mine at the moment - so I absolutely sympathise :(

    ps loved the description of 'her favourite activity is watching tv'. Um, seriously? Even if that was true, MAKE SOMETHING UP, crazy nanny!

  3. Oh, sounds terrible. I'm so sorry! If you lived here, Ariam could certainly keep me company during the days now that I'm. all. alone. Hope you find a great someone very soon.

    p.s. I will get working on that hair post you requested hopefully sometime soon!-tonight we're taking out the braids-we'll see how that goes!

  4. Wow, suddenly my stress seems so manageable in comparison! Good luck with everything... I would totally help if I were in driving distance! And while the child care situation is still a stresser, I'm glad you followed your gut instinct with that nanny... she did not seem to be on her best game!

    Feel better!

  5. Ssearch and wait as long as it takes to get the best posible nanny for Ariam! You will recognize her (or him)...follow instincts and call for references. Or bring her to DC!
    Sorry about the week. And happy for J...soon you will all adapt and be happy with work, house and nanny.


About Me

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J and I have been married for almost 15 years. We have shared many adventures and a lot of watershed moments. In 2009 I began blogging and in 2010 we adopted our daughter from Ethiopia. In March of 2012 we began the process to adopt a little boy from Haiti. This blog follows the many twists and turns on the road to our two children and beyond.