Every tree limb overhead seems to sit and wait, while every step you take becomes a twist of fate.
Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road...

If you are new to our adoption blog please take a moment to scroll down to the archives at the bottom of this page and start with July 2009 post "Watershed."


Move over Carol's Daughter!

After my last hair post I spent some time on natural hair care websites and emailing with some girlfriends who know what they are doing with hair.

The conclusion I came to is that Carol's Daughter products are just too harsh on Ariam's hair. So we returned everything (except for our Mimosa Hair Honey) to S.ephora. They were incredible about taking it all back, no questions asked.

I found very positive Alaffia reviews on Happy Girl Hair and other blogs and bought it at my local organic grocery store. We are trying out a whole new hair routine and it is working wonders!

1. Wash with Alaffia shampoo and conditioner once/week

2. In mid-week we do a co-wash (that means we just wash and rinse with conditioner, no 'poo)

3. After a wash or co-wash I add Alaffia hair lotion and use it as a detangler, then I add a pea size amount of Mimosa Hair Honey and run it through her hair with my fingers (it defines the curls)

4. Daily I wet Ariam's hair with a spray bottle and add just a dime size of Alaffia hair lotion, rubbing it in all over her head and finger detangling and fluffing

5. Twice/week I put her in the highchair in front of Baby Einstein's sign language video, wet down the hair, part it into several parts pulled back with clips, rub a little mix of pure aloe vera and coconut or jojoba into her scalp, and put pure coconut oil in her hair (I do this the day of her hair wash to make sure her scalp doesn't get dry and also the day before her mid-week cowash.)

That's it!

Also I have mastered a good center part for double puffs, the single puff with a ribbon, and am now moving on to tiny puffs in the back of her hair.

Tonight Ariam and I attended our trans-racial adoption group dinner. The hostess brought in an African American hair stylist who specializes in children's natural hair. She gave us an individual consultation and proclaimed Ariam's hair "very healthy and soft!" She gave us a VERY wide tooth comb and told me to wet the hair daily and detangle when I add the hair lotion or leave-in. I had not been detangling well enough which is why the tiny knots were forming. But to be honest, as soon as we stopped using Carol's Daughter products and changed to Alaffia the knots disappeared anyway. I haven't had a knot or a breakage in two weeks.

We're feeling very confident now in our hair routine. There are still several products out there that I'd like to try including Darcy Botanicals Hair Jelly and Aubrey Organics conditioner. But the hair is looking much healthier and is starting to grow.

Thanks for all of your comments and emails!



  1. Hi Amanda, I found you! I saw your blog on another AAI's blog page. Great seeing you tonight! Amy

  2. Hey-

    So we do use the Aubrey Honeysuckle Rose conditioner once a week for deep conditioning and co washing and it is amazing. Also use the Alaffia as a leave in every morning. I haven't used shampoo in weeks and Dagem's hair is looking better and better.

    I'm using the same routine on Matthew's hair and his is fab too.

    Just thought I'd add our experiences.

    Hope you are well!

  3. Hi-I've been lurking for awhile and love your blog-our youngest is 13 months and I've found is allergic to a lot of Carol's daughter stuff-even though we keep his hair very short-his scalp gets awfully dry and I hate the hemp oil I've been using (but at least he's not allergic!), I'm going to try your tips on keeping the scalp moisturized.

    Thanks for the great tips,
    Susan O

  4. oh, all that fun with her hair, sounds lovely. Wanna do this white-girls hair? :-)

    I spent about an hour watching video's on the Happy Girl Hair web. OMG - SO MUCH FUN! And those kids were so well behaved - no screaming "it hurts!" I can't wait for you and Ariam to get to the stage where you can braid and twist and tie etc. You'll have to show us your hair-experiments. Exciting!

    She looks fantastic! You and Jer are doing a great job!.

  5. Hi, great post--

    Here is what we do (it will sound familiar!)

    Shampoo/Cond/Leave-in only once every two weeks. Alaffia Shampoo

    Condi wash every other day. Aubrey Honeysuckle rose cond.

    Leave-in. Alaffia or Mixed Chicks leave-in

    Every day we mist with water or water+Alaffia leave-in. Some times some pure coconut oil gets rubbed in.

    For curl definition I LOVE the TW mousse. But I am also going to try the Darcy pudding--it is on the way. The Darcy jelly is ok, not bad.

    We use the tangle teezer to detangle but also to style the curls (I put it tines down into the hair then flip it tines up and pull the hair thru horizontally--it is amazing how the hairs combine to form a curl!)

  6. I use Cantu Shea Butter leave in with my daughter's hair. But her's has changed textures lately and I'm testing new products again. I've heard Mixed Chicks is great. I'm planning on trying Blended Beauties next on her.


About Me

My photo
J and I have been married for almost 15 years. We have shared many adventures and a lot of watershed moments. In 2009 I began blogging and in 2010 we adopted our daughter from Ethiopia. In March of 2012 we began the process to adopt a little boy from Haiti. This blog follows the many twists and turns on the road to our two children and beyond.