Every tree limb overhead seems to sit and wait, while every step you take becomes a twist of fate.
Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road...

If you are new to our adoption blog please take a moment to scroll down to the archives at the bottom of this page and start with July 2009 post "Watershed."


10.18.2010

Beauty for Ashes, Strength for Fear

She doesn't wave her fingers in front of her eyes anymore.

Sounds like such a small thing in the long list of changes: walking, laughing, using a fork, sign language, sharing instead of hitting, sleeping through the night, kissing...

But it is my favorite change.

Every nap and every night for many many weeks Ariam waved her hands over her face, wiggling her fingers and bringing them close and then far. Close and far. She looked at her hands instead of my eyes until sleep came. It twists my heart and makes me short of breath to imagine how, when and why she began doing this.

When babies don't have the loving touch of a parent to soothe them they find other things to help. Head rolling, self rocking, hand waving...

Tonight I was running through the list of "reasons why Ariam is ok and ready for daycare" when she reached up and set her palm on the bare skin of my neck. She loves close touch and those 30 minutes of rocking and snuggling before bed. Where there was once a protective shell all around her and fear in her heart, now nothing separates us. She sees me and I am enough for her. No hand and finger waving needed.

He gives us beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair


(Ears pierced)

~A

13 comments:

  1. Amen, sister. Hear you loud and clear. Any progress on the daycare front?

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  2. This is HUGE, Amanada! We've told you a million times, but it's worth repeating. Ariam was one of those babes that was unbelievably aware of what was going on around her and she desperately wanted/needed attention. I have no doubts that the hand waving/watching was a form of comfort or entertainment. It is a really big deal that she no longer needs it. Way to go, hotshot!

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  3. How precious. What a blessing.

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  4. Beautiful. (And I think there might be earrings coming to our house for Christmas!)

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  5. Gorgeous. And ... relief. I'm so happy she's getting more secure with you. Brings me joy. really.

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  6. She will do awesome. God will provide, sounds like He is already being the Comforter you need!
    Just got new pics of "B". I'll email some to you!

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  7. Amen! :) Praising God for safe places for our kids!

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  8. Oh, so nice to hear that it is gone. She feels safe. What a beautiful thing.

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  9. That story just gripped my heart. Ariam's earrings are so cute. I am a chicken to do it to my girls.

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  10. Minor miracles=big stuff. *happy sigh*

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  11. You were just in it thick when you wrote this, huh? Even before I loved your girl I loved the way you could pull it all together and really SAY something. You wrote at one point that I read your blog mostly to keep tabs on her. As if.

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  12. I love this. What a huge development. I am so happy for Ariam.

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  13. Beautiful. Brings tears to my eyes.

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About Me

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J and I have been married for almost 15 years. We have shared many adventures and a lot of watershed moments. In 2009 I began blogging and in 2010 we adopted our daughter from Ethiopia. In March of 2012 we began the process to adopt a little boy from Haiti. This blog follows the many twists and turns on the road to our two children and beyond.

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