Every tree limb overhead seems to sit and wait, while every step you take becomes a twist of fate.
Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road...

If you are new to our adoption blog please take a moment to scroll down to the archives at the bottom of this page and start with July 2009 post "Watershed."


Failed Again

I have no words. I have many words. I have words that are not appropriate for a family-friendly blog. Maybe I should go private so I can say the words I have in mind? J and I are saying a lot of them this morning.

Alternating tears, g.oogling, emailing, and cursing.

The letter for D's court case was not written. Because the ministry writing those letters was closed on Wednesday and Thursday. And that is where I'll stop describing the situation. Because I have extreme new found paranoia that ministry officials DO read these blogs and believe me, I still have an interest in making sure we are in favor with them.

But insert words here. Many words.

The worst part? We are rescheduled for May 24th.
G.oogle May, 2010, Ethiopia.
Elections will be held on May 23rd. Last time elections were held in 2005 over 200 people were killed in the streets. There is not a chance that this ministry who writes the letters will be open on the 23rd. So unless they miraculously change their way and write the letter ahead of time, we will not be passing on the 24th.

I want to know how it is even remotely acceptable to reschedule anyone's court case for the week of parliamentary elections? We KNOW that the courts won't be open. Judges are not going to want to go to work with possible riots and murders in the streets around their buildings. Puhlease. An insult to our intelligence.

So scratch us passing on the 24th. And now what? What are we facing? I don't know.
I do know that I will be living in Addis during the rainy season (summer) instead of here in gorgeous (insert my city) in the Rockies hiking and swimming and having fun with her. I do know I'll be wasting all of my "maternity leave" holed up in a compound since adoptive parents cannot be out in public with their children.

I do know that we won't be able to take custody of her until court documents are produced. So it will be an indefinite wait in Addis.

Honestly I am furious. I am so over this. One failure was to be expected. Two failures, well frustrating but it happens. But KNOWING that the third time will be a failure is not ok. (I have many many more words to use for that so don't mistake my wimpy "not ok" for being cool, calm or collected over this.)

I don't know what else to say. Have I said that I am arriving in Addis on May 30th? I just couldn't, couldn't be within a 2 hour flight of her and not go. But now what? No end in site. I just don't know. I hate thinking about it. Maybe it will all be easier when I am there. It honestly couldn't be harder. I hope.



  1. I am so sorry! We failed our second date and were told we would not be able to rescuedule until after the rains, and then all of a sudden we had a date the next week and passed, so strange things do happen... I am thinking about you! I don't know if it helps but when we were waiting I kept telling myself that when I was watching her drive off alone for the first time at 16 I wouldn't be able to picture my life without her and the wait would be so small compared with our lives together...

  2. Oh... A.... I just don't know what to say.

    You know that I've been there (figuratively and literally) with the uncertain stay in Addis. I cannot say anything that would make that easier.

    Im' so, so, so, so sorry about this. Really. So sorry.

  3. Ugh. Amanda.
    I HATE THIS for you guys. Agonizing. Heartbreaking.


    I pray for you often and look very forward to the day that she is in your arms forever...and all of this...THIS....fades. I promise it does.

    praying. Michelle

  4. Can I say suck? I'm thinking of another word too... rhymes with suck....

    What a miserable day, I am so sorry. I too am nervous for you about the 24th. You're right, with the elections it could be a really tumultuous time.

    I'm so sorry.


  5. I am so sorry. I am ata total loss for words. I thought for sure today would be the day for us too and walked anticipating to the mailbox only to find junk mail and not our USCIS approval. I was hoping for an early Mother's day present for the both of us, but again dissapointed. Everyone we started with now has their travel plans while we wait and wait, I don't understand how others are getting approval after 4 weeks and we are still waiting after 7!

  6. This bites...on a whole lot of levels. I'm not going to tell you to cheer up or that God's timing is perfect (we both know that already). Just feel what you are feeling today. Let 'er rip. Have a good heart to heart with God and tell Him you think this bites (you might have already done that and if so, good for you). He understands and He loves you anyway. Praying that somehow, someway something will happen before the 24th.

  7. We didn't pass again either! Sure hope next time they have the letter!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. a) feel what you're feeling.
    b) it was at about this time last year that I discovered that though we passed the first time, there'd be a 12 week delay for a TB test that they stopped doing WHILE WE WERE IN ADDIS. (Bitter much? no, not me)So while I don't know the pain of failing court, I do know the freak-show irritation of an unexpected delay. And it suckity, suck, suck, sucks!
    c) email me about the taking your kid in public.
    d) It seems like a lot of agencies have those "surprise" court dates...where you're told one date and then there's a surprise earlier date. I think they do it because they give you worst case scenario and then work really hard to get the other option in place. Maybe that will be you?
    e) you will survive
    f) did I mention that I agree that this sucks?

  9. um, that was me, sorry, wrong profile.

  10. So so sorry you didn't hear good news today.

  11. ok- all will be ok. it really really will. I know that sucks to hear and harder to believe. These things have a way of turning us on our head and surprising you. ((HUGG!))

  12. Oh noooooo! I really can't believe it - really can't. You know I know how you feel - totally know after 9 failed court dates... the pain is unbelievable - the feeling of betrayal... oh my. I am so very very sorry.

    I do however think your being there could really do the trick - I am sure you are right about the 3rd court date being a no go - but if you are there on the 4th one that could make a huge difference. I know for a fact that our son wouldn't have passed that 10th try except that I was there in the court room...

    Lifting you in prayer.

  13. Que mierda!! (hope remember your spanish)... All this will make you both stronger. The "getting closer" is getting longer, but still closer every day.. Abrazos.

  14. Wow, I'm so incredibly sorry that you didn't get to have your court date. And it is very strange about the date that was offered for rescheduling. I'm going to pray for a miracle. And I'm going to pray for God to give you an immense amount of peace through this turbulence.
    Love ya.

  15. Oh, this just sucks, sucks, SUCKS! But I will say, and it may not make you feel better, but...once she is IN YOUR ARMS everything will be OK!!!! I promise....holding your precious daughter will make it all go away. It doesn't matter where you are, you will finally be together!

    (I know it still sucks, but I'm trying)... :)


About Me

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J and I have been married for almost 15 years. We have shared many adventures and a lot of watershed moments. In 2009 I began blogging and in 2010 we adopted our daughter from Ethiopia. In March of 2012 we began the process to adopt a little boy from Haiti. This blog follows the many twists and turns on the road to our two children and beyond.