Failed Again

I have no words. I have many words. I have words that are not appropriate for a family-friendly blog. Maybe I should go private so I can say the words I have in mind? J and I are saying a lot of them this morning.

Alternating tears, g.oogling, emailing, and cursing.

The letter for D's court case was not written. Because the ministry writing those letters was closed on Wednesday and Thursday. And that is where I'll stop describing the situation. Because I have extreme new found paranoia that ministry officials DO read these blogs and believe me, I still have an interest in making sure we are in favor with them.

But insert words here. Many words.

The worst part? We are rescheduled for May 24th.
G.oogle May, 2010, Ethiopia.
Elections will be held on May 23rd. Last time elections were held in 2005 over 200 people were killed in the streets. There is not a chance that this ministry who writes the letters will be open on the 23rd. So unless they miraculously change their way and write the letter ahead of time, we will not be passing on the 24th.

I want to know how it is even remotely acceptable to reschedule anyone's court case for the week of parliamentary elections? We KNOW that the courts won't be open. Judges are not going to want to go to work with possible riots and murders in the streets around their buildings. Puhlease. An insult to our intelligence.

So scratch us passing on the 24th. And now what? What are we facing? I don't know.
I do know that I will be living in Addis during the rainy season (summer) instead of here in gorgeous (insert my city) in the Rockies hiking and swimming and having fun with her. I do know I'll be wasting all of my "maternity leave" holed up in a compound since adoptive parents cannot be out in public with their children.

I do know that we won't be able to take custody of her until court documents are produced. So it will be an indefinite wait in Addis.

Honestly I am furious. I am so over this. One failure was to be expected. Two failures, well frustrating but it happens. But KNOWING that the third time will be a failure is not ok. (I have many many more words to use for that so don't mistake my wimpy "not ok" for being cool, calm or collected over this.)

I don't know what else to say. Have I said that I am arriving in Addis on May 30th? I just couldn't, couldn't be within a 2 hour flight of her and not go. But now what? No end in site. I just don't know. I hate thinking about it. Maybe it will all be easier when I am there. It honestly couldn't be harder. I hope.

~A