I slept on it. And I read your comments and emails.
So many good points made!
So here's what I did. I emailed a full description of T - her size, her looks, the way she interacted - to the WACAP social worker to pass along to the family. And I told her she could share my email if that's what T's mom really wants. But I don't want to initiate contact myself.
That should give them what they need. And takes the responsibility out of my hands. Not that I have any hard feelings at all. But I think that my feelings about being in touch with the family were very selfish feelings of curiosity. A desire for closure that may or may not be totally possible.
I'm actually tired of the drama. I think this adoption feeds something in me that isn't my favorite part of my personality. Drama. Throwing yourself on the bed with a giant flop, eye rolling, deep sighing, whoa is me, drama.
Even I am tired of reading this sob-story of a blog these days. I just got to go on a safari! Note to self - life is not perfect and you can't always have your way. Need to be more thankful in general.
Time to move on and think about little #3. And we are #3 on the list! Seems like a good omen.
Today it is sunny and even though the snow was blowing over the mountains in the distance the air is still and warmer down here in Denver.The leaves are still on the trees. It is my favorite time of year and I've barely noticed since I got home!
So I'm finding new ways of keeping excited. I forced J into the baby names talk last night. (He was a really nice participant for about 10 minutes.) Then we talked about our birthdays which are coming up in November and December. For my birthday I asked for a whole day of looking at decorations, toddler "stuff" and visiting baby stores. ;) He was really ready to agree to anything to make me happy which is one wonderful side effect of the recent drama.
There is going to be no more whining here. I promise.
~A
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About Me
- Me. Us. She.
- J and I have been married for almost 15 years. We have shared many adventures and a lot of watershed moments. In 2009 I began blogging and in 2010 we adopted our daughter from Ethiopia. In March of 2012 we began the process to adopt a little boy from Haiti. This blog follows the many twists and turns on the road to our two children and beyond.
I think you should whine, plus-what's an adoption/family blog if there's no whining to go along?! Seems unreal.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the drama-same thing happened with me (and both of our back-to-back adoptions). It's a rough thing emotionally. A roller coaster is a nice way to put it.
Give yourself a break, allow yourself to be human. I'm sure her parents will probably contact you, so maybe you should try to prepare yourself. And, I think that's a wonderful way to spend your birthday! :)
Three is good!!
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteIt's not a sob story. It's real life. Real, raw emotions.
Keep moving forward.
There will be healing on the other side.
My blog seems to be a huge whine-fest lately!! Perhaps we can trade blogs for awhile?!?! A whole new place for the pity party!! LOL! Hang in there as best you can...#3 is a great place to be...and it will soon be #2, #1 and the best...#0!!!
ReplyDeleteI started blogging so I could whine. I could whine in writing and not to an actual person. I could whine to the people who get why I am whining and may in fact whine themselves someday. I forsee whining in my future as we gear up for #2 even though I told myself I wouldn't be as whiny this time around.
ReplyDeletePeace to you soon! Cyber huggs.
ReplyDelete